See What Had Happened Was….*Disclaimer I am NOT a writer*

To get an understanding of why I am even here writing a blog today I feel like I need to rewind about 6 years to introduce who I was, it’s relevant I promise, and then who I am today.  Way back in 2012 this is who I was, I was the beast (it’s a thing, everyone gets a nickname there I’m not crazy).

I lived to race dirt track, every Saturday and sometimes Friday nights were spent with me loading the truck and trailer with my dad and heading to Harris Motor Speedway or Thunder Valley and driving around in the circles as fast as I could.  Sunday was for unloading and washing the cars after church and Monday thru Thursday was spent fixing whatever I tore up the weekend before for the following weekend.  I am in no way trying to imply here that I was good at this,  we’ll say I was a strong average finisher.  A handful of top 5 finishes and plenty of 6th and 7th to last me a while.  Everything I did and everything I talked about revolved around my race car and I was okay with that.  I mean doing this was all I had ever known pretty much, before I was sitting behind the wheel of the D39 I was still always hanging out at the garage with my dad and my papa while they worked on my dad’s car and still always spending the weekend at race track.  Then one night in the middle of turn 3 & 4 this skinny mohawk spins out in front of me and I go plowing into his drivers side door.  For any that don’t live around here there are certain ones here that might as well be mini celebrities at our track, and that skinny mohawk which they called “Killer” was one of them.  I kid you not there was a tv show that came and did an episode on dirt track racing at Harris and they introduced him as the “local legend who can’t be beat”….*gag*.    I can’t even.  That night I ended up bending his tie rod and cutting is tire down and busting my radiator so my night ended right there in turn 4 with about 5 to go while Killer got to go in and change his tire and finish the race *insert heave eye roll*.  Well the big fat joke is on me because fast forward to the beginning of 2013 and I’m not only dating but moved in with that local legend and we were the power couple of the track….maybe because I was the only girl racing at the time so we were the only racing couple?? I may never know.

Starting my third year of racing I was determined, I was ready, I was……pregnant.  WAIT!!!!!! This is not even possible I remember saying only about 1000 times.  Fun fact for everyone I got pregnant on the first race of the season.  Go ahead and make a joke about celebrating the new season a little too hard…go ahead.  That is when I officially stepped out of my roll as the beast and into who I am now.

Josh’s wife and/or Tucker’s mom.  Or as some people like to call me “Josh’s old lady” I know I know charming isn’t it.  I mean who needs to know that my name is Nikki right?!?  I am married to my absolute best friend, yea yea yea, I get it everyone says it but I really kind of am.  We raced together, drank together, partied together, worked on cars together, and somehow fell in love along the way.  That little 3 year old is our Tucker Lee.  My little monster.  He is hilarious, and kind, and F*CKING WILD but omg does he keep us entertained.  Let me be very clear about what kind of wife and mother I am.  I do not cook every night even though I wish I did.  My son does not get a bath every single night.  There is usually at least one basket full of dirty laundry in my house at all times even though I would love to get it all finished.  My son runs and screams more than I feel is normal but it’s not hateful so I just let him go.  If I could describe myself I’d say I’m the world’s okayest mom.  At least everyone is clothed and fed even if how they got that way wasn’t the most ideal  right?  I mean Tucker isn’t the stinky kid and Josh has on clean underwear so WIN WIN.

So back to my point on why I am here.  I want to take the beast from 2012 and Josh’s wife/Tucker’s mom of today and meet them somewhere in the middle.  Surely I can’t be the only wife and mother that missed who and what she was before she became these things right?  Being Josh’s wife and Tucker’s mom is so absolutely satisfying and I am incredibly blessed to have them both in my life.  But….I miss what made me Nikki a few years ago.  I want to find how to be all three within reason.  So here is to the journey of being the worlds okayest wife/mom/race car driver.

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